Welcome to yingyingstar.blogspot.com

- xinying, but can call me lin or ying
- 21 years old at last
- working as interior designer rite now
- born in 5th jun

- him aka dear dear
- my friends
- slp
- listenin to music + singing
- fashion & bridal mag
- shopping
- chatting on phone

- going vacation to many places
- be a tai tai
- the 'IT' bag
- my big snoopy balloon
- iPod touch 16GB
- COACH photoframe keychain
- woodstock crystal
- to love my dear dear always

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This blogskin is made by SIPEI and the background is taken from here and lastly, part of the coding is from this skin.

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yeah , jun is back today ... got so many things to tell her ... n haha , she pass me the photos so i can pass to iris , but in the end , i din meet up with iris they all these few days ... been rottin at hm like siao ... become so guai tat i sometimes hate myself for missin out all the fun ... haiz , y like tat ... going to malaysia at nite later ... think will come back ard midnite ... going to see MH again ... haiz , i sometimes begin to think , do i still like him , is like whenever i see him , i will try to create chance to talk to him ... or mayb by jus lookin at him oso gd ... alamak , i shuld not b hua xin , i got him le ... but den , sometimes i oso wonder , if i can have two guys at the same time , who will i choose den ... think it's hard ... both got different character ... mayb with MH , i will feel mor secure , n with him , i will feel mor fun tat kind ... haiz ... but i noe me n MH not possible la , he got someone else le ... ya , n him , he make me so sad yday lor ... cos his stupid thinkin n msg ... he msg me at nite n say he think he wun call mi after work le , cos mood not gd , scared later quarrel with me ... huh ... i feel like 'wat the' ... it sound like i will do or say somethin to spike him like tat ... n oso , i tot tat when u r feelin down , u will like to tok to someone u r close to ... i am his gf leh , not somebody else ... like me , when i feelin down rite , like wat iris say , onli he can cure my xin ping ... whenever i heard his voice or see his sms rite , i will feel mor happy like tat ... but y is it not the case for him ... at tat pt of time , i reali feel like breakin up ... is like he dun even seem to care abt wat i feel ... mayb his character is like tat ba ... so in the end i jus msg him he dun wan to call nvm , jus remember to calm down n buy some coolin tea ... but den in the end he still got call la ... i was like sayin him i tot someone say better dun call or else later quarrel ... den he jus say if quarrel den he kuap the phone lor ... den jus continue talkin for a while , ask him y he so angry ... den he ask me when can meet me again ... haiz , i oso dunno lor , openin sch soon ... oh ya , i need to check my timetable , is out today ... hope wun b too busy ... *pray hard* den he still ask me wan after or b4 christmas go out with me , cos on tat day of christmas he has to go back KL ... alamak , feelin so nervous , can see my timetable ... dun scare me la , my com ... still cant ... ah .. i am freakin out ... ok ok , relax relax ... where i stop ah ... oh den i say anythin oso can , den he say after lor ... den we end phonecall liao lor ... ok , i think i reali going to bang head le ... i still cant get my time table ... i key in my admin no. n they say not found ... wait a min ... chay , it's 2nd of dec ... ah la , i tot is tues ... haha ... i make a fool out of myself ... haha ... me so blur ... hee ! oh ya , n he oso say my flu haven recover huh , cos like talkin to me like nose block like tat , is not flu lor ... is because i jus cry for him lor ... at tat time , my heart reali hurts n break lor ... now ok le la ... better le ... hao la , think going to eat my lunch soon ...

haha ... i got a new template for my blog n it's so cute ... but one thing , it cant display chinese words , my previous song lyrics r gone ... nvm , i go try to change the settin , but now wonder how to do it ... been facing the com very long liao ... haiz , eyes pain ... one day , i will go learn to make a whole new template jus for myself ... haha ! tat will b very long ba ... cos when u r using tis , u dunno who use it oso ... so like not special liao ... mayb i too fussy ... but wat shock me the most is tat ris n qi got blog liao ... haha , they never tell me ... i noe they say going to create one ... but wa, their one so the nice ... i like iris one ... very art i think , i got try searchin for the templates tat the *cookie* person had made ... wa , all so nice n cute lor ... i got download one , but think if use den me n ris become not so special le ... esp is tat ris find first one , so i continue searchin n haha , i found tis ... actually i got dl another one oso , but tat one got to make a alot of changes , so tis one better ... hee ...

finally , i am feelin better these few days ... my mum cuts down on her naggin (tat's of cos , cos i din go out at all) , but she n my dad quarrel until like zhen qing de ah gui n xianghai ... a bit worry at tat time , but i tell my dad to cheer up no matter wat n tell him tat girls r like tat one , need u to coax ... haha ... den me n him oso ok lor ... he msg n call me yday ... tell me not to think too much ... haiz , think i feel numb le ba , i mean cryin for 2 days like tat enough for me le ... i dun wan to think too much now ...

but however , my poly friends r going out today for dinner , n once again , i am stuck at hm ... think kai xin oso can figure out la ... wan to go , but my mum already prepare everythin for dinner le ... she say cook somethin special ... mayb is me ba , i think i become mor n mor timid in askin her whether i can go out anot ... everytime i see her , the words jus cant come out frm the mouth ... haha ... like choke like tat ... my holiday going to b over soon , hope i can reali enjoy myself these few days ... it's been some days since i last see my sec friends n a month like tat to my poly friends ... hope when i go back , i wun feel drifted away ... haiz ! hao la ... think postive ok ... jia you ...

haha ... saw my friends blog jus now ... ok , let's say jing first ... oh my , after readin her blog , feel like cryin ... mayb every relationship has its prob ... haiz ! me too , got some prob with him ... ok , den see grace blog le ... wa , she change skin le ... i oso wanna change !! haha ! now talkin phone with iris ... haiz , my cough n flu still haven totally recover ... lucky my ear does not hurt like yday le ...

thurs went out with him , longest hrs ba ... cos he work half shift ma , so later i go down find him lor ... we went to watch the movie 'shutter' ... it was nice n of cos the nicest is tat i can hug him when i scared ... hee ... but when we abt to go hm , i tell him my religion thing le ... he din say anythin much , onli say will respect my decision ... haiz , i oso dunno wat to do ... den the saddest is tat he din call me after his work , even a sms oso dun have ... mayb i too wat le ba , but den ... haiz ... i cry the whole nite yday ... is like i feel he actually very mind , but he jus din say it out onli ... is like he is avoidin mi like tat ... he say he yday work mornin shift , den ard 7 he will usually call one , but den he din call ... so i tot he jus forget to call or wat ... den when yday i go hm ard 10 plus , i jus try callin him on his singapore hp , n to my surprise , it actually can work ... i mean it actually still available ... haiz ... dun wan to say anymor ... my heart reali hurts lor ... heart break ...

k la , continue sayin i will cry de , jus concentrate on talkin phone ba ...

haiz , read all the comments tat my friends have given me ... so touched ... but dunno can do it anot ... yday still the same ... she kinda scold me when we go out again ... jus becos i ask her y she need me to help her take her things ... den she begin to start sayin n scoldin ... tis time , she dun say my friends le , she say abt family members ... she say out of 5 family members , alreadi got 3 is selfish , n i am going to b one of them soon ... den she say i muz b thinkin y she say my dad selfish , n add tat she noe tat i wun think my dad is selfish ... so i ask her y , n she never give me an ans ... wat the , i dun think my dad treat my mum bad lor , i think is my mum who is treatin my dad badly ... she always raise her voice when talkin to him , scold him ... den my dad is like me , always listen to her scoldin n not fightin back ... i think she reali picky leh ... she think she herself not selfish huh ... do she noe tat everyone in the family have to tolerate her bad temper ... esp , me , my dad n my small cousin ... do she noe tat she is givin us very hard time at hm ... tat is y i always like to go out , cos everytime when she is at hm , i feel like suffocating ... tomoro thinkin of going out with him (been missin him alot) , but dunno can pass her tat 'gate' anot ... n oso , yday fall sick le , runnin nose n cough ... today still got headache ... k la , think end here first , got to go eat my lunch le ...

oh , i am back with mor complaints abt my mum ... haiz ... but wat can i do , she dun seem to stop naggin at me these few days ... like yday , i tell her i am going out for a gathering , she say i always go gatherin one ... den today mornin say i slow , say i tis , say i tat , somemor say i can get diabetes ... wat the , like curse me like tat ... den jus now wanna go celebrate xin's bday , but of cos i cant say the reason la , so i say i go out with qi n grace (dun wan to mention iris name in case she say her again) ... den she say i always go out with them , so close with them n i never miss a chance of meetin them ... hello , when sometimes they meet at fri nite, i cant even go wat , jus tat she dunno they got go out onli ... den she say every gathering got my part in attendin ... haiz , i reali feel very tired le ... tired of listenin to her naggin , tired of seein her face when she give me tat kind of look , n i am tired of living le ... feel like slpin for 10 years n never wake up ... sometimes , i got tis crazy idea of losin my memory n lead a new life without them ... fresh new start ... with no pain ... but dun think is possible ... is either die or live ... he call jus now , ask me wat happen , cos frm the msg i send him yday nite , he can sense somethin is wrong ... ya , i feel tat i reali need support now , or else i will jus break down ... mayb sometimes , i go out with friends or him , i will always try to put on my smile , cos one person mood can reali affect the others ... but i wonder tis smile can put how long ...

ya , yday finally went out with tok , chao rui n mian cun ... was ok , too bad cant catch any movie ... got bully by both of them when takin neo print ... n oso i lost my face in the mrt station all becos of tat stupid mian cun ... so many ppl watchin n he strangle n push me to the glass wall ... so ma lu ... yday went find him a while , but too bad a auntie keep on standin there n not leavin , so our conversation is mostly craps ... but can see him oso not bad la ... after quite long ma , since the park thing ...

k la , feel so tired ... tat jun say wan to online n chat one , n till now i cant see the sight of her ... wonder where she is ... or her dad is scoldin her again ... i hope not ... now she is quite pathetic like me ... n ya , add one mor pt , by now i still dun understand wat my mum wan my gd friends to b who ... is ok , i think i dun wanna find out ... cos i already got all my goody friends with me ...

爱我别走 ...

我到了这个时候还是一样 夜里的寂寞容易叫人悲伤我不敢想的太多 因为我一个人 迎面而来的月光拉长身影漫无目的地走在冷冷的街 我没有你的消息因为我在想你 爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔 爱我别走如果你说 你不爱我 不要听见你真的说出口再给我一点温柔 我到了这个时候还是一样夜里的寂寞容易叫人悲伤 我不敢想的太多因为我一个人 迎面而来的月光拉长身影漫无目的地走在冷冷的街 我没有你的消息因为我在想你 爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我 不要听见你真的说出口再给我一点温柔 (music) 爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔 爱我别走如果你说 你不爱我 不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔

候鸟 ...

出海口已经不远 我丢着空瓶许愿海与天连成一线 在沙洲对你埋怨芦苇花白茫一遍 爱过你短暂停留的容颜南方的冬天 我的心却无法事过境迁你觅食爱情的那一张脸 过境说的永远随着涨潮不见 变成我记忆里的明信片 你的爱飞很远 像候鸟看不见 在湿地的水面 那伤心乱成一遍 你的爱飞很远 像候鸟季节变迁 我含泪面向着北边 出海口已经不远 我丢着空瓶许愿 海与天连成一线 在沙洲对你埋怨 芦苇花白茫一遍 爱过你短暂停留的容颜 南方的冬天 我的心却无法事过境迁 你觅食爱情的那一张脸 过境说的永远 随着涨潮不见 变成我记忆里的明信片 你的爱飞很远 像候鸟看不见 在湿地的水面 那伤心乱成一遍 你的爱飞很远 像候鸟季节变迁 我含泪面向着北边 你的爱飞很远 像候鸟看不见 我站在河岸边 被树丛隔离想念 你的爱飞很远 像候鸟季节变迁 你往北向南说再见 再(见)再见

haha ... the first song is by zheng zhan yue n it's reali a very nice song ... currently crazy over it ... the second one is by S.H.E ... their new song , haven heard b4 , but jun say is nice ... of cos ! the tune is made by jay ! haha ... the lyric is woah ... hee ... by vincent aka fang wen shan ...

today mornin is so terrible for me ... my mum wake me up , n straight away got a scoldin frm her ... cos of yday i return late hm ... excuse me , 11 very late meh ... somemor i one week never go out le , n oso not like frm mornin to nite ... is late afternoon den get out one ma ... i reali hate her ... she say my friends agian ... first say li jun , say heard her 'oh , her mum call to nag at her hm again' ... say we all like ye mao zi ... tell me to ask all my friends parent n see whether they like their kids to go back hm late ma ... den she say iris ... say she alreadi fail den jus becos she finish her a maths paper need to celebrate until so late meh ... say her mum will b very angry one ... den she continue to scold n scold ... den she say all of them r not my gd friends ... gd friends will tell each other to go hm early so as to not let parents worry , gd friends pt out faults , gd friends will wat wat wat ... ah la , can she stop sayin my friends ... if they r not my gd friends den who is ... someone who becos i late a few mins n keep usin harsh words to say me , or someone who jus say hi n bye to me when meet , or someone who say tis n tat when u help her to order some fd ... she say like tat , makes me feel tat i actually dun have any gd friends ... is tis wat she tryin to say ... almost scold the f word out to her ... is like i jus wake up , still lyin on my bed n she attack me like tat ... say i dun behave like a student , say i dun bahave like a witnesses (tat's wat we call for our religion) ... den wat i behave like , some ah lian is it ... wat the ... she think she so pro huh ... ask her how she treat my dad la ... den she oso sometimes go back hm very late wat , near 12 , n is like her hp cant b reach tat kind ... so y can she say me when she is actually like tat ... she think tat her friends is the best la ... but they oso not perfect wat ... frm wat i see , some of them like dun like another ppl , some of them very picky , some of them like u muz eat wat they cook or else they will give u tat kind of face ... so ... my friends r imperfect wat , so y is she askin so much , is not like they ask me to smoke or wat ... den she already so not trust my poly friends , n now beginnin to attack my sec friends , which r my close friends ... haiz , think my another 10% of willpower will b gone soon ... jus gald tat i din cry when she left my room later ... still a bit strong ... i reali hate her now ... i hate when she everytime use friends to say me ... she say she give me freedom alot mor le , but i dun think so ... she say until like iris very jia lat like tat , say until like she will fail is becos she always go out n yet late hm ... stop critisizing (dunno got spellin error anot) my friends ... they r the one who give me support n not her ... she is the one who is always makin me cry ... she is the one who brings me pain n kill my strength to live on ... i remember when i was young , ard kindergarden tat time , i always get beaten by her , n i go to sch , my clasmates will always ask me y i got those scars ... n i remember i used to hide in a small corner to cry after she beat me ... at tat time , i already got those ideas of killin myself or runnin away frm hm ... jus tat i din got the courage cos i was still so small ... n oso i cant get out the hse alone tat time ... come to think of tat , i dun feel my mum's love at tat time alreadi ... they always say tat is becos they care n love u , tat's y they will beat or scold u ... but as u slowly think , tis kind of sayin a bit wrong ... mayb once a while still ok , but if u continue like tat , n not wantin to find out wat's the real prob (y is he/she like tat) , den tat's means tat u dun reali wan to care ... woah , typin my past actually can make me cry ... i always dream of her killin me , or abondonin me , n i always cry in the dream n u woke up , findin tat u reali cry as well (the pillow is so wet!) ... haha , i have never dream of my dad killin me or wat ... so sometimes , i dun reali understand ... is she the one givin me prob , or me givin her prob ... nvm , let's not tok abt tis anymor ...

yday went out with my bunch of friends , n we watch incredibles ... not bad , better than shark tales , very action pack , but if they can cut off some long conversation , i think tis movie will b better , or i can say best ... when we sit down at burger king , we start to talk abt our future ... attendin each other weddin , open a cafe on our own , all so fun ... den jing start to ask the qn on how u define love ... none of us can reali give an ans ... but when i got hm n start to think , i think love is very emotional ... one sec it can let u feel tat u r the luckiest gal on earth , but can oso one sec make u feel so miserable ... love let u taste all the different kind of flavour u can taste of ... sweet , sour , bitter , spicy , salty ... is jus like some fd ... love is soemthin u wan to share with with ur partner every second of ur life ... but tis does not mean seein each other everyday ... love is complicated , n yet simple at the same time ... is how u view n think abt it ... love is ur next best friend ... the greatest love is actually not to die with him , but to continue livin for him ... woah , suddenly i feel like i am a poet or wat like tat ... haha ... jus hope tat everyone of us can find love n those tat last forever ... den i can attend weddin le ... yeah ! for me ah , unless my mum is not ard with me , or else i think i will find the right one very late or mayb none ... haha ! he ah , husband material ma i dunno , but sometimes i reali hope to settle down with him lor ... haha , den like tat i think by the time i 20 years ole can get married le ... haha ... continue to dream ba ...

hao le la , think i have write very very long enough ... a bit too long ... hope when i publiah can see the chinese song lyric ... i copy n paste one ... haha ...

haha ... the title sound so sickenin rite ... but wat can i do , i feel reali down these few days , since my mum is back i can say ... today is better , cos she went out to work , so i can stay at hm rot without her naggin ... somemor , my dad is out to help me get my Spiderman 2 DVD ... hooray ! love my dad so much ... haha ... today actually got alot of show to watch at nite ... got sch bella , the 9pm new show , amazing race ... woah ... hope today will b a great day for me ... haiz , sometime , i feel like i dun belong to tis world , or i shuld say i shuld not belong here ... is kinda painful ... reali feel like runnin away or dying these few days ... i noe i am foolish to have tis kind of tot , but i reali feel tat i onli left 30% of wantin to live ... 10% is my dad , 10% is my close friends n another 10% is him ... i noe the last 10% is very unstable , i can lose it anyime ... since when i become so negative ... jus got a call frm dad , he say the DVD is sold out ... haiz ... den wat am i going to do tis afternoon ... very sian de u noe ... suddenly now reali feel so sian ... tot i can have my spiderman to cheer me up , but end up nothin ... ya , nvm , continue with wat i say ... actually oso nothin la , jus feel tat i reali need time to cool down first lor ... in case i do somethin silly n i cant even have the chance to regret it in the future ...

watch shark tales yday with my cousin n her friend ... it's a bad experience , n i dun feel like writin it out again ... it's the first time i went in the cinema , going to watch a comedy n cry when the show start ... so pathetic rite ... anw , the show is not bad , but not reali nice tat kind ... u wun have the urge to see the 2nd time ... tell him wat happen , n he is so ji dong ... say ask her to come see him n he will give her a slap ... oh my ... i dunno even noe i shuld feel happy or wat when he say tis ... so damn violent lor ... regret tellin him a bit ... anw , no mood to write anymor (think is becos of my DVD) ... haiz ...

gd morning charlie ... gd morning angels ...

haha ... sorry , been crazy over charlie's angels since yday ... the show is so nice ... n the three of them r hot ... how i wish i could b one of them ... reali fat hope ... feel like learnin some kong fu after watchin ... hee ... it's crazy i noe ...

mum's back ... n it's hell for me again ... yday , cos i told her i go out with poly friends on thurs (which is going out with him) , she nag at me n say tat i was so close to them ... every of their activity i oso join ... excuse me , i feel like shoutin ! last time alan bday i din go , iris bday i din go , they go airport i din go n they overnite at chalet i cant stay ... i feel like i am starting to get further away frm them liao , wat she still wan me to do ... i mean havin my sec sch friends is reali da best le , but poly friends oso impt wat ... they have to pei u through tis 3 years , give u encouragement when u r down or stress ... n wat abt group work ... i long time never chat phone with kai xin , long time never suan iris le ... so , wat does she still wan now ... she always onli noe how to use the religion to say me , say being friends with the world means enemy with the god ... oh , yday i reali almost shout at her tellin her i wanna quit ... den she still say their gatherin i dun take effort to go ! go out with my friends can , go out with them no ... i reali dun feel like going out yday wat , i mean there is charlie's angels to watch on tv ... somemor , i noe MH din go cos he at japan , so the mor i dun wan to go ... reali mad at her ... feel like suffocating ... i wan to grow up fast n go live on my own ... tell him tis today n he msg to say he cant imagine me livin on my own ... he say is very hard one ... i noe , is like u cant get money frm parents , got to pay fee , needs , n everythin urself ... by the time u pay finish all , u left with nothin mor to spend ... but i think havin less money i still will b happier than livin with her ... sometimes , i dun hate her , is jus tat i hate her using the religion to control me ... she never try to understand me ... i think by the time i 20 years old , i will live on my own , n tat time i will choose whether i wan to remain in the group anot ... she cant disown me , i dun mind at tat time ... havin breakdown yday , wonderin am i wasting his time too anot ... is like he can get married at his age le , but he seems to b very positive abt our future , thinkin tat i will reali b his wife or watever ... but i noe tis wun happen ... n i noe he will understand tis pt when i tell him , so mayb he will wan a break or wat i oso dunno ... haiz ... dun say abt tis le ...

today never go out , at first still thinkin of going out with jun , den later meet him , but after yday wat my mum say me , i think better not go out first , or else today i got to heard alot of naggin n if she say somethin like stay away frm friends , i will reali breakdown one ... to me , friends r reali impt in my life ... they bring happiness n when u r down , they r the ones to pull u up ... so i cant imagine world without them how will tat b ... is not like i dun have friends down there , but u noe , they r still not to close with me , mayb the closest with me one is my niece ... but compared to jun , iris , qi , grace n mor , i think her friendship with me is still so so ... ok ok ... i better stop myself frm sayin all these anymor ... think mum is comin , so i will end here ...

haha ... when did i become so guai , can stay at hm whole day when my mum is actually not at hm ... hee ... reali sian , nothin to do , watch meteor garden jus now , miss the part where dao ming shi chase after the bus ... aiya ! n oso watch the show 'bring it on again' ... it's not as nice as the orginal one , which got kristen dunst , but tis one is still ok ... startin was a bit boring , n the love story of the female n male lead is so fast (a bit love at first sight n they jus kiss in the pool) ! it was the endin tat makes it nice , all the moves n music ...

ya , forgot to add sometime yday , so i add on now ... he say tat i am his princess n xiao zhu ... n wat the freak , he actually say my MANGO new clothes like pig skin ... but i dun care , still find it so nice ... haa ... say i princess , so i ask den he's a frog is it ... haha ... dunno y , with him rite , we like to pour each other cold water ... n somemor both so lame together ... jus dunno who is lamer ? ya , he call tis mornin frm KL i think , but jus nice i go brush my teeth , so 1 miss call agian ... den he left a voice mail ... haiz , but too bad he din call again when i msg him back ... always like tat de , very de used to it le ... miss him alot , still wonderin mon wanna meet him anot ... but dun feel like jus going out at nite ... nvm , tis still can tot over it tomoro ...

yeah ! finally , tok , mian cun n chao rui n of cos mi , fix a date of going out le ... which is next sat ... it's have been a long time since we 4 gd buddy get together ... but still dunno wat activity shuld we do when we meet ... haha ... mayb in the end we end up sittin in a cafe chattin ... hope is not like tat ...

dad saw one of my new clothes (which is the 'pig skin' one ... haha !) ... n he jus now keep on sayin me , say i buy new clothes secretly ... haha ! a bit la , but oso take out le ma ... he still haven see the rest ... hee ... hope my mum wun scream when she come back n see all these ... anw , she is comin back tomoro , haiz ... y cant she go longer ... till tues oso gd , den i mon dun need to think so much abt going out with him le ... hope there will be qi ji , n she call n say she will b stayin longer there ... haiz , stop daydreamin , dun think will happen ...

k la ... another long entry again ... go n surf net a little longer , den bathe , den go watch zhen qing ... haha !

wat a great day to stay at hm ... somemor is rainin now , so cooling ... watch alot of vcds jus now ... watch mean girls n troy ... mean girls is not bad , quite nice ... quite a bitchy show ... haha ! troy i watch b4 , still love the love story of brad pitt with another girl ... but is mor on war fighting ...

yday went out with him , feel so happy , cos after one week plus , i finally can see him ... met him at yio chu kang mrt n later he drive to the nearby Mac to have our dinner ... when he look at my phone , haha ... mc call ... i feel so funny , pickin up the phone , hope he wun say somethin stupid or wat ... haha , den when i put down , he ask who is it , den i tell him lor ... he say i tok to him like very fierce like tat ... haha ! got meh , i was thinkin ... den later , we at first decided to go marina there one , but he forgot how to drive there le , so we end up going to bishan park ... speakin of park , make me think of the past ... nvm , dun bring it up again ... den we go walk walk ard the park holdin hands lor ... quite special , cos i have never go on a real date with him yet ... but sometime , he reali make me feel a bit pei sai , he can suddenly walk half way , den in the middle of the road hug me one ... sweet , but ... den , we walk tired le , so go find a place to sit ... so we manage to find a place where no ppl is ard , quite peaceful ... he quickly sit down first ... somemor in the middle of the seat , so i was thinkin , u sit like tat yao wo zhuo na li ... den in the end , he tell me to sit on his lap ... hee ... it was quite sweet i admit ... so he so call hug me frm behind , den started talkin ... but haiz , too bad , the tree block the view of lookin at stars ... (but i doubt tat nite got stars to see) den later , we started kissin ... kind of normal for us le , but den the kiss got mor intense n he start to get mor touchy ... jun say couples will be like tat ... but sometimes i tot i quite bao shou one , but y yday i will actually allow him to do all those to me ... we r now up another stage ... sometimes reali feel tat things will happen too fast n honestly , feel a little scared n confused ... he eat alot of tou fu last nite ... n my gum hurts a bit cos of his teeth ... somemor got a love bite frm him ... he did sms me yday nite to apologise if i feel scared of wat ... at least he did ... i dun wan say the details out , or else ppl readin it will oso feel so strange like tat ... ya , i finally say wo hen ai ni to him last nite ... think he shuld b very happy for hearin it ... yday nite was quite sweet actually , esp the sittin on the lap part , is like i have been sittin there for 30 mins n i noe it will hurt alot , but den he jus continue to let me sit ... think we share the longest kiss yday nite ... like the feelin u never get enough ... somemor i become his xiao zhu now again ... but i still lack the courage of tellin him my religion , cos i feel tat if i say it , everythin will b like over for us ... at tis moment , a bit cant afford to lose him le ... he mention abt marryin me last nite , but my whole mind is tellin me it's not possible ... haiz , y cant i choose which family i will get born ... din have a gd slp last nite somemor ... slp at 1 , wake up at 5 n keep on thinkin abt last nite , in the park n his car ... den i think ard 6 den i fall back to slp again ... was so tired now , at nite still muz go out , how i wish can stay at hm jus for tonite ... he say he wan to meet me on mon , but mum jus got back , so how ... he say he will buy me a ring n add on tat once i wear it , i cant easily give up on him ... everythin seem like fine to me , but cos of my mum n the religion , i seem not to b reali enjoyin it ... he can see tat yday my mind is full of tots , jus tat i never mention to him ... 'nothin' is how i reply him ... haiz , dun feel like sayin tis anymor ... jus make myself get mor hurt onli ...

hao ba , think end here first ... write quite long already , mayb later meetin iris ... go buy her cousin present ... me now go check my hp got msg anot ... sayonara !

finally create a new blog , still figuring how to use ... muz make until very nice , den when ppl come in n see they will feel woah ! haha ! later going to meet him , hope he wun say cant make it again ... too bad he sat cant make it ... yday go out with jun , ris n jing ... got to buy some new clothes ... hee ! den we oso got go sing k box , but den i think is not long enough ... but we still have a great time ... ris cry when we sing her the i'll be with u by tension ... haiz , jun will be so de yi now ... k la ... now go try change the template all these ...