Thursday, December 23, 2004Y
do i feel xin fu ...
i am back ... after few days of disapperance ... haha ... now back to sch le , everyday seem so different , like u dunno wat's next for u ... holiday is like u noe u either plan to go out or jus rot at hm ... but havin sch oso not bad ... i can dun need to face my mum everyday ... den oso i can sometimes go hm late ... hee ... but den schoolin is so stress ... with major project comin those kind ... haiz ... anw , miss out one pt on my last entry tat make me feel so sad ... tat is my hp spoilt ... is not even 2 months yet n it spoilt ... sob sob ... u noe , tis oso very stress , cos i cant sell n buyin a new phone like going to pay some money ... i noe my dad wun say anythin but i do feel bad ...
yday went out with him ... to JB somemor ... haha ... at first wheni reach custom rite , i suddenly dun feel like going , cos the queue is so damn long la ... den i somehow guess he got excess card one ma , so sure very fast one ... den i have to b alone waitin in the long queue ... seem a bit scary ... den oso jun say she wanna meet me ma , so i tot like mayb i meet jun first den later ask him to drive n come find me ... but he keep on askin me to go JB with him a while ... n later when we come back frm withdrawin some money , the queue become much shorter ... so i say agree lor ... but he keep on sayin like i bu yuan yi like tat ... like pull a long face ... he ah ... sometimes make me feel so dot dot dot ... haha ... den we go catch a movie in JB ... go watch polar express , cos is the nearest time slot ... haha ... tat show like wat ris say , is reali kiddy n magical ... so almost half of the show we r playin with each other la ... like feedin popcorn with our mouth ... ha ... feel sweet but yet stupid ... den later we go other place to eat our so call lunch cum dinner ... den after eatin , we sit in his car n he tell me abt his past love stories ... he tell me the one tat time he reali loved one is somethin like love at first sight ... it's kinda funny ... like those we see on show tat type one ... but den oso make me worry a bit ... cos he got tell me tat he is with someone but den he like tat girl ... oh my ... will tis happen to me ... mayb he now alreadi like someone behind my back ... forget to qn him yday ... den later , we decide to drive out to singapore cos i scared my dad will call me ard evenin time n i cant b reach ... somemor still got to find jun ma ... den when waitin at custom , he tell me he headache , so in the end , i become massager ... first the neck den his hand ... massage until my hands reali very suan ... i think got like 1 hr plus like tat ... den when reach , i call jun , den she tell me dun need to meet me le ... haiz ... tot of meetin her n ask her how's she le ... is she going to leave her club ... haha ... nvm ... so in the end , we both oso dunno where to go ... n jus drive , like tour ard , den in the end , we go back to tat bishan park ... but we din go to the park , jus park at the nearby car park ... den he say he veri tired n still headache , so he jus lay on my lap n slp ... n he reali slp ... like those little kid like tat ... i wan to move oso cannot ... haiz ... den 933 play hou niao ... wan to switch on louder oso cannot ... hand cant reach ... haiz , den so call miss tat song again ... den is when i reali go n reach for it , he woke up ... but den he still continue to lay there ... i tell him to slp mor den he say scared i bored ... den after he lay a while , he sit up den we do some talkin n huggin lor ... em ... n somethin happen la ... but not going to write out la ... den ard 9 like tat , he send me back lor ... at first , he keep askin me can pei him longer anot , cos we cant meet on christmas ma ... den i say reali cant lor , is not like my mum is not in ... haiz ... sometimes , i reali hate relationship ... they make u feel happy n confused at the same time ... makin u keep on thinkin n thinkin ... den mostly is negative thinkin all these ... so am i reali xin fu , i actually still not very sure ... tryin not to think too much , like wat he say to me ... can i ... i will try ok ...
haiz ... today no sch ... stay at hm n later muz do kk work ... but think i will go take a nap first ... yday was so tired ... like energy drained ... den today my mum still wake me up quite early ... at first tot mayb can meet jun ... but den she say she got project to do ... haiz ... haven buy our 3 months present ... tot of somethin to buy le ... but muz go action city n find ... nvm , mayb when out with my friends on sat , i can go find ... n i break my own record le ... last time with sean onli 2 months plus ... hope mine can reali last lor ... he yday oso got say wat , if he willin to marry me , will i agree ... den he say wait till i 21 den see ... 21 , tat will take abt another 3 to 4 years time ... see we can last tat long ma lor ... hao la ... me go slp a while first le ... long entry again ... hee !
2:25 PM
