Friday, January 07, 2005Y
nothin ... jus hurt ...
he break my heart once again ... reali feel like givin up ... had enough , wan no mor heart pain , no mor waitin , no mor tiredness , no mor sadness , i wna everythin no mor ... y had u got to treat me tis way ... i feel liek i am the one givin in everythin ... tell me not to b angry , but how ... tat's wat u will always say onli ... but had u reali try to feel wat i am feelin ... i reali love u alot lor ... n yet u r breakin my heart alot too lor ... today sittin on the bus , after aileen got down , my tears jus fall n fall , but i try to control , cos i dun have tissue with me ... onli left one pathetic piece ... is like u say u wan meet me today , den hestitate ... it's ok ... den mornin u msg me , tell me u wake up all these ... den afternoon say u will come down find me ... den after i reply , u no ans back ... so i tot is ok ... mayb u will come find me or call me later ... i wait till 7 , still no news , so msg u , n guess wat , i waited like near 1 hr den i receive ur msg , n is the msg i most dun wan to see ... u say u r not meetin me le ... hey , i wait for u lor , n u tell me these ... n is so last min ... if u reali dun wna to meet me , den tell me earlier , so mayb i can go hm early to rest n slp ... u say meet twice a month ... do u reali mean it ... is seein me so tong ku for u ... u call n say u r sick ... tell me to msg u when i got back hm ... sick , excuse or wat ... is like alot of times like tat le , mayb u reali ah , but i jus dun understand us girls , y girls when they sick , they still will get out of their bed to meet their bf or wat ... den y guys wun ... y girls r always at the losing side ... y n y n y ... tears r abt to fall when i am typin tis ... den i jus msg u say mayb we reali shuld meet twice a month , n now u still no reply ... i dunno ... i reali feel so tired le ... i tell my friends i will wait till the 16th , but for now , i dun think i wanna wait ... now my mum came n disturb me , pls , i wan some peace now ... i feel like i am a failer ... jus check my tp mail , my teacher send mass email , but on the email write me n kai xin n one other guy name tell us to work mor harder ... like so wat lor ... i need to b strong ... jun say she wan to see the old me , but i dun reali think is possible now ... the xinying now is so weak , like going to collapse sooner or later ... i hate my mum , can she jus leave me alone ... ah ... i wonder how long can i stand all these ... it's quite late le , n yet i am typin tis ... tomoro still got mornin class again ... y i onli noe how to cry , y i onli can feel heartpain , y i onli can see darkness ard me ... nvm ... today i reali feel like starin into the air doin nothin ... i scared i lay on my bed , tears will jus roll again ... last mon meet him a while , but haha , it din reali turn up to b very well ... a bit angry with him ... today , u reali make me feel so disappointed ... i wan to see u so badly today n yet u cant make it last min ... wat am i to u anw ... becos if today i dun meet u , i think the next time i meet u will b half a month later ... next week 13th n 14th he going back , 15th n 16th i go malacca , den 18th i got test , so most likely cant meet on mon le ... n i oso dunno wat's his shift on tat week ... mayb all afternoon , den dun need to meet again la ... got any couple like tat ma ... can u tell me the truth anot , do u reali love me n do u reali miss me ... y cant i feel it nowadays ... i feel lije everythin u say is jus a lie ... u tell me u r busy , but at least a sms after work oso can ... but u din sms or call either ... aileen say tis which i find it so true ... everytime ur hp rings or beeps , u hope is a sms or a call frm him ... cos it will jus brighten ur day ... but u fail to brighten my days ... aileen they all say movin to another side of the studio is like we r all in a very bad curse ... n all got to do with love ... aileen break with her bf , n so did york , which is mor amazin cos he with tat girl for 2 years plus ... still got one mor person break , but forget who at the moment ... alan's relationship oso very unstable ... mine too ... mayb mel oso ... r we all in a curse ... haha ... i am not those mi xing ppl ... but mayb reali is true ... today stay in studio whole day , is like i no sch , oso go frm 9 to 8.30 like tat ... very siao rite ... k la , feel a bit tired le ... after all the tears flowin n makin model , feel like gonna die like tat ... hands so suan , tot mayb today meet him can ask him to help me at least massage a while , but now i got no one help me to ... so pathetic rite ... let's say no mor , tears will fall ...
倒带
我受够了等待你所谓的安排 说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱 我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白 一个人假日发呆
找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外 却一直都进不来 你累积给的伤害
我是真的很难释怀
终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来 终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖慢慢计划将来 我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代你该给的信赖 被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白 看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带 只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏 已经碎成太多块
要怎么拼凑跟重来
终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来 终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来 终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
a song tat somehow describe my feelin ... mayb not the chrous (did i spell correctly ?) ... but i like the two parts b4 those chrous ... k la , he jus reply , say i not happy he din meet me rite ... sound as if i am a bad person ... nvm ... i dun care ...
12:34 AM
