Thursday, January 20, 2005Y
sick again ...
haha ... i fall sick again ... but now i am writin , i feel better le , after eatin those horrible medicine tat the doc gives ... hee ... but i think he reali let me down these few days ... on sun , when i got back frm malaysia , i call him , den he never pick up , so i guess he is busy ... den after a while he call back , n the first thing tat come out frm his mouth is 'wat' ... huh ... so bad rite ... say i never initate to call him , den i did , n he say wat ... nvm ... den he say he mon will call me but he never did ... den on tues ... he call in the noon ... n he found out i am sick ... den he say after his work he will call me de ... in the end , no again ... is like i slp at 9 , cos of the effect of medicine , den i woke up at 12am n check the hp , he din call ... den nvm ... he yday call in the mornin when i am takin bus to sch , n i ask y he din call , he tell me he tired , n add tat he off work at 9 plus , den go eat with kaiting n hui xian ... hello ... u say u tired , but u can go n eat with other girls n no energy to call me ... r u a jerk ... somemor i am sick lor ... one sms will do oso ... u din even ask how i feel le ... think u dun care much ba ... still tell me hui xian got long story ... so u can sit down there n listen to her long story n u cant even take out one min to call me ... wat am i to u ... ur friend or girlfriend ... think i am jus a normal friend ... almost cry on bus again ... is like u dun seem to care abt me these few days ... feel hurt is the word to say ... den u call again yday after ur work , den i so call say u a bit ... but den u never giv me any reason , jus tell me dun like tat ... he say i like tat he very sian ... so now wat ... in the end , he still din ask me how i feel le , like he forgot i am sick or wat ... dun wan to care le ... mayb he today will pei me go art friend n mayb not ... depends on him ... n he still din msg me ... wat the ... fine , i muz cool down ... IAD project is makin me stress , my mum too ... she yday once come hm , scold me ... sayi keep on watchin tv never plan my time well ... hello , i jus on the tv for like few mins n u jus came hm n u think i on for very long ... so i was angry with her la ... so when she tok to me , i jus barely reply her ... den later she ask me to go her room n tok ... i wan to do my things lor , n i hate tokin to her one ... so i jus go in , givin those being forced face ... den she say i dun wna tok with her is it ... ask me wat's my spiritual target ... go n die la ... i jus wan to concentrate on my P1 ... cos i noe david baptize sure got an impact on her ... n now she is thinkin i am progessin too slow ... i feel very stress ok ... dun add another stone to me ... feel like dyin ... y i cant die frm tis sickness ... wat's the use of livin when i am not livin for myself n for her ... i might as well jus end my life ... den when i went out of the room , den wan to go back again n ask her somethin , she is in the room cryin ... i think the one shuld cry is me lor ... mayb she think tat she din teach me well enough , is like i am further away ... ya , i agree ... n u noe y ... is becos of ur stupid attitude towards the family members ... i always envy iris , kai xin family , even da jie oso ... is like they r all very close to their mums lor ... like their mum is their friends like tat ... mine can never b ... i noe all family got their own prob ... but den my tat thing always say , u will have a happy family if u believe in it ... i doubt it now , is like they never , but can see they still quite happy too ... so i dun trust tat anymor ... n stop all ur cryin ... cos dun make me feel guilty ... n i tell u , i wun now ... my heart now become mor n mor cold le ... is like anythin tat happen to me , last time i will quickly msg my friends all these , but now i jus keep it to all myself , bear it all myself , unless mayb i see face to face den i might say some ... haiz ... think i am livin in the world of darkness ... feel so helpless ... n i dun wan to cry anymor ... k la , got to do my P1 , n my talk , or else kanna k by her later ...
12:19 PM
