freakin rite now at the moment ...
there is a lizard in tis room ! n somemor is on the floor ... CRY ! dad , where r u ... cos u r the onli one who reali dares to catch all these insects ... i use the insecticide n spray at it but it onli keep on runnin , like no use leh ... i think now it is hidin in one corner ... hope is dead liao ... but if it dare to climb to my room , i will make use it's killed n catch away ... my hair is standin now , legs on the chair ... argh ...
yday was quite a happy day for me ... first , i got a job which is very my own time basis one ... but i can say quite hard , cos is door to door surveyor ... i noe most ppl dun like to be surveyed all these , including myself ... but haiz , i jus got to try ... after reachin target of 20 ppl , i can dun need to do ... but at first say 20 ppl , like very easy to do , but when all the rules come , wa , hard sia liao ... they need to control alot of things like race , gender all these ... oh my ... but each hse 12 bucks ok la , at the end will have 240 ... hope i can finish in one week times ... second happy thing is i finally got my new hp ... yeah ... is nokia 6170 ... very metallic one , flip phone oso ... but the onli thing i dun like after i use is i actually find out tat its memory is very little ... i can onli shot up to 60 pix like tat , n when u record video or voice , the number of pix i can shoot is even little ... my one oso cannot put memory card so haiz ... think i cant have lots of pix in le ... got to delete old ones when new one come in ... but havin a new phone is so gd feelin ... finally i got poly ringtone phone again ... but is qute heavy cos is quite big ... hee ! double happiness for me yday ... k la , i wan to check out some other nokia model so tat mayb i can save n buy for dear ... or at least save half of the price ... wahaha !
3:28 PM
love ...
actually got a pix to post one ... but muz download things ... ma fan ... haha , so din in the end ... haiz ... these few days mum not hm , but no one is free out to play , so pretty sian ... hee ! but jus hope she go even longer , den i can out mor days n late late go hm ... like yday go hm 11 plus oso no one say anythin ... zhe zhong gan jue zhen shuang ... haha ! my cousin mor powerful , come hm near 1 ... i shuld have done the same thing ... i mean is the onli time i can do it ... i shuld have offer to go watch soccer with him den go hm at 1 ... haha ... it will b so fun ... but second tot , go coffee shop where got fun ... haha ... but yday wasnt a very nice meetin ... i cry in his car again n he din even noe ... cos he was slpin ... zhu ! he was suddenly like a bit angry at me , dun even wan to tok to me like tat ... he even ask whether wan to send me hm early ma ... wat the rite ... but i choose not , i dun wan to go hm n cry like hell ... so choose to stay n hope things will b improved after he wake up ... n it did la ... i try to coax him like some little kid ... haiz , y everythin i am the one givin in ... sob sob ... i mean somethin i do get tired ... like feelin u wan to give up ... but everythin i see his face , his smile , i cannot bring myself to say let's give us a rest ... but luckily was fine after tat ... i tell him next time dun b anyhow angry with me ... i say muz treasure our 6th month together ... haha , i jus told o i like MH b4 n my relationship with him now ... haha , i think he reali damn shock ... wahaha ... ya , back to him ... i think he reali very xiao hai zhi pi qi ... haiz ... i oso got those feelin like he care abt alot of other things den me is next ... like i am jus rankin no.10 impt in his life ... i dunno la , or mayb i think too much ... but i think i din ask alot frm him lor ... i never been to cafe or restaurants , i dun mind , never reali go shoppin , i dun mind too ... but is it being so difficult to jus stay awake for me , go for a stroll ... i hate it lor ... i mean all i ask is simple things ... not those like need to spend huge amt of money ... but tis oso cant b provided ... sian ... read jun blog , i can onli say those ppl is so lovey ... cant b beaten ... hai ya , i think i shuld not complain anymor ... continue to stay strong , anw we ok le lor ... still lovey together oso ... i like the idea of u rentin a hse here den whenever i wan to breathe fresh air away my mum , i can go over there ... but the bad thing is i cant stay over ... or else tis idea will work ... k la , wan to go n do other stuff ... stay strong n b happy ... think tomoro going to buy new hp ... hope can get it ... hee ...
'i don't know where love will take me ...'
9:22 PM
like a pig ...
wahaha ... these few days , i think i reali like a pig ... feel so tired every mins even though i keep slpin ... even now i am typin , my mind is my bed ... jus scared my mum will scream at me if she find me at my bed again ... holiday start le , but oso means the naggin starts too le ... i wan to find a job ... most likely 2 to 3 weeks one ... den i can have a whole month rest ... suddenly feel like going HK , but mum cancel the idea of going ... wat the , last time keep on askin me , now i feel like going she din mention anythin le ... hai ya , nvm ... cos suddenly see the clothes my cousin buy in HK , wan to go there crazy shoppin ... haha ... 3 mor days to our 6th month ... reali very fast ... kinda scary now ... been dreamin of him tese two days ... but funny thing is never dream his face , jus somethin got to do with him ... but reali too bad , the days when my mum go on holiday , he never have off , until when the day my mum is back , he have 2 days off after tat ... haiz , suai ... argh ... currently keep on thinkin abt how to buy my new phone , the one i am targetin , tis 2 weeks keep on havin promotion , but means muz sign a new line ... but who going to sigh new line for me ... haiz ... if dun have the promtion , i have to pay up to 500 a phone ... n tis is upgrade line i think ... wa , very x leh ... now at 200 plus , i better quickly grab ... k la , update u again next time , i have hell lot of time now ... i jus worry for my results ... hope i pass everythin n promote to year 2 ... wish me luck ...
5:08 PM
some song lyrics ...
翅膀
地下铁是你选择离开的方向 回忆地图是我迷路时的信仰
入夜的橱窗 清晨的操场 这次没有你在我身旁
寂寞是不需要被原谅的原谅 爱情终于是被你删除的过往
天黑天亮 都显得迷惘 我在哪里失去了方向
幸福的那一双翅膀 飞不到你说过的远方
云若沮丧 可以变成海洋 我的伤心怎么能释放
幸福需要一双翅膀 带我飞往勇敢的方向
练习着坚强 学习会遗忘 等待彩虹再次出现 展翅飞翔
往幸福出发吧
勇敢寻找让自己能发亮的地方 爱给我们能量
转过身继续的飞向 蓝天上
星星声起又落下 心贴着心一直说到天亮
靠着彼此的肩膀 像这样的我们很棒 不是吗
总是聊到忘了时间 友情比爱情更 不容易疲倦
很开心有人能看见 最真的那一面
人生很难梦想很贵 要加油一点
不管未来多远 要是不快乐 会很不甘愿
(会不甘愿 会很不甘愿)(不管多远)
往幸福出发吧 勇敢寻找让自己能发亮的地方
爱给我们能量 转过身继续朝向蓝天上飞翔
往幸福出发吧 有对方的祝福就能到对的地方
爱帮心情补妆 跌倒了可以撒娇心会更坚强
(勇敢的面对每一天 因为 你在 身旁)
haha ... guess these two songs frm who ...em , clue , it's a girl ... haha ! it's frm cyndi new album 'honey' ... think she very act cute , but still go to see the lyrics of every song ... find tis two the most got meanin one ... even though i still ecen get to hear the tune of them ... first song is somethin like tellin us to b strong even if u jus fail in a relationship ... so jun , tis kinda for u ... the second one , is for everyone ... the title esp , i think everyone shuld head towards their happiness , oso frm the lyrics , it does not matter whether we got love anot , most impt is our friends ... but in the song it's oso say it will b even better if we have love ... haa ... i hope everyone can read but i noe some cant read chinese ... haiz ...
猜不透
满天的星星在闪烁 点不亮心中的暖和
为什么你不懂我的梦 只是勉强笑了
就像我们凭直觉走 找不到同一个出口
从现在到心痛要多久 还有没有以后
有时假装沉默 是否有点难受
到底期待像什么 一眨眼又让心伤透
关于你们手牵手 还是关于你和我
你说你就是在我左右 下一秒却又让我
猜不透 就像我们凭直觉走
找不到同一个出口 从现在到心痛要多久
还有没有以后 有时假装沉默 是否有点难受
到底期待像什么 一眨眼又让心伤透
关于你们手牵手 还是关于你和我
你说你就是在我左右 下一秒却又让我
猜不透 有时假装沉默 是否有点难受
到底期待像什么 一眨眼又让心伤透
关于你们手牵手 还是关于你和我
你说你就是在我左右 下一秒却又让我 猜不透
tis is by angela ... angela frm MVP ... remember ... haha , i kinda like the lyrics for tis ... quite true sometimes for me n him ... like i always dunno wat is he thinkin inside ... n it always so hurt ... haha ...
明明爱你
我不想回想 也不想在继续的讲
越想越觉得有点勉强 如果你也是这么想
再多的语言也都是敷衍 我们说好今年夏天一起去看海
怎么你忘了将心带来 你的心底可否有我
许过的愿 又证明什么 明明爱你的我 对你很执着
相爱以后觉得可再爱多久 就算你留下遗憾的逃走
思念是 不痊愈伤口 明明爱我的你
装做很甜蜜 相爱太久开始觉得有点腻
就算我哭也不会被怜惜 我的痛你不会懂
我不想回想 也不想再继续讲 越想越觉得有点勉强
你的心底可否有我 许过的愿 又证明什么
tis oso by her ... i find it so sad ... n true for me sometimes ... for some couple too ... haiz ... so sometimes , love can b reali painful ... even though it did bring u joy ... but it all depends rite , like who's tat guy , how everythin goes , so on n so for ... aiya ... k la , dun wan to find lyrics le ... been tired ...
list of things i wan to get tis holiday :
1. new clothes (haha , think tis will never ends ...)
- skirts (think 2 mor will do ... not denim now ...)
- one top frm shops like surfbabes , those racer back or wat one ...
- other tops , hope to find one similar like my cousin one ...
- mayb a 3/4 pants , but tat one still not so wat ...
2. perfume (hope i got xtra money ...)
3. friends presents (tis depends on the others like wat they wan to buy ...)
4. his present (feel like givin him starhub voucher so tat he can buy a new phone , cos i cant reali afford one ...)
5. garments (haha , jun will say i crazy , but ever since the first time i go buy myself , now whenever i see nice one , i feel like buyin ... haha ! tis one , i jus hope my mum go bangkok help me buy mor back ... hee ...)
6. my hp (lookin for all the deals now , plannin ...)
em , think tis is for tis holiday one ba ... haha , look at tis , i feel broke ... but i will try to buy it all with cheaper price ... haha ... sound like auntie ... k la , tired le , wan go slp le ... today see MH but din get to tok to him except hello n bye ... haha ... anw , iris , u shuld b back le ... how's ur holiday , hope is fun ... call me one day when u free ... cos i havin my holiday now ...
10:30 PM
Saturday, March 19, 2005Y
hot ...
i am feelin so hot now ... first because of the weather , second because of my mum ... can she dun like tat , always askin me to let her use the com ... can she wait anot ... n can she see i tokin on phone , so dun keep talkin to me ... u make me feel so fan , i have to one heart do 3 things ... tell msn ppl i have to go first , tok to him , ans my mum ... wat the ... she think she wat huh , can control wat i do , tell me to do tis first when let her play com ... i tell u , now , i alreadi forget wat he say because u r beside me busy askin me to do tis do tat ... shoo off la ... freakin hell ... den he say i tok to my mum like very fierce like tat , u wan try in tat situation anot ... i chat with friends halfway , i have to go offline first , den online back again ... tell me to go read my article for tomoro , den later come back use com ... i dun like ok , i dun like to do tis den do tat , afterward come do tis again ... is not my style , n dun ask me to change it becos u like so stubborn wan to play com like young kid like tat ... pls la , grow up la ... i today finally come use com with an easy mind , she come disturb me ... hai me now feelin so damn frustrated ... sicko ... ah ya , dun wna to say liao la , he is going KL , so tonite i can hear his voice for one last time u until mayb 4 mor days den can hear , so can she jus shut up n let me finish my tok first ... AH !! irritating ...
8:42 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005Y
new blog skin ...
haha , change a new blog skin ... it's so cute i think ... haha , i got many of tis type one , so might change when i sian over it ... but oso i might change back to the old one cos i still think my old one the most pretty out of all ... hee ... i think tis skin is very simple ... haha ... today never go sch , feel a bit weird ... haiz ... my mum oso stay at hm cos she injure her legs , or else the whole hse will b mine again too ... wahaha ... i siao liao ... after tis fri , i will b free ... den after next week , holiday for me ... yipee ... haha ... jus now very sian , go read the bachelorette website , n she reali chose the guy which i think very handsome ... haha ... so sian , i wan money , cos i wan to buy lots of things ... frm garments to clothes to accessories to electronic devices ... haha , i think i siao liao ... but i reali no money since the day i used my own money to buy my formal wear which cost me near a hundred ... i cant seem to find the pix of tis blog on the net , they say is frm devianart , but i go to tat website , woah , is another search engine website ... haha ... plannin to work ma during tis holiday ... work den i got xtra money to buy my things , dun work i got timw to relax n go out whenever i wan ... but no work a bit no freedom , cos cant go out everyday one ma ... unlike when i work , i can go hm late ... wahaha ... but if work , i dun wan to work at taka anymor ... feel so scary ... oso dun wan tat kind of feelin almost everyday face him but cannot reali tok to him tat close like tat ... haha ... k la , my mum is annoyin me again ... fed up ... update tis soon ...
1:20 PM
being silly ...
haiz ... am i being silly or wat ... the idea of breakin up come in my mind today again ... dunno y ... mayb angry with him ba ... cos he let me wait for him like 1 n a half hr ... i mean usually is guy wait for girl one lor , where got girl wait for boy , somemor is so long ... i dun mind liek wait for mayb at most 30 mins , cos being trained by jun ... but 1 hr plus is too much ... lucky today got qi pei me a while ... or else i think i will reali kill him ... somemor when i see him , he some sort like say me like tat , say jus let the phone miss can liao , dun need to press cancel call , cos like tat will charge him ... freak rite ... i alreadi so angry n yet he say me ... make me even mor sian ... so i jus show him the face lor ... den he noe i angry le ... but almost cry when he went to buy fd ... think i think too much la ... den went to watch hitch , funny show ... i think it's our first time watchin romantic comedy together ... we always watch action or horror one ... so the feelin very funny ... the show is kinda sweet ... i like the fat guy n the popular girl part ... i mean sometime , things cant judge by look ... den after tat , went to my cousin friends hse to look after rabbit ... so call a bit hanky panky in the hse ... sorry i still not able to give u wat u wan ... haha ... i mean jus remain like tat can le ... but still for helpin out in the hse ... i scared the rabbit bite me ... hee ... thanks for the distractin ... but i still hope u can b mor on time the next meetin ... i noe my patience quite gd , but i reali scared will busrt one day ... 8 mor days our 6 mth le ... fast rite ... i noe u say for singaporean girls , 6 mths is teh longest for u ... den i will break the record , even break ur longest record ... jus hope to last forever ... u keep on sayin ask me i scared ma ... say we no future like tat ... i dun wan to hear tis for now ... heartbreak lor ... if we can survive 1 year den we see ok ... but mean time , i jus hope we can b honest with each other ... so i can trust u mor ma ... long time never see u , will degrade the trust one leh ... so muz built it up again like last time ... overall , today date still ok la ... end up my mum downstair , so he have to send me hm halfway ... but k la , hope can meet up soon ... muackz ... miss u alreadi ... hee ...
12:24 AM
Saturday, March 12, 2005Y
bad hair day ...
haiz ... go cut my hair le , but now a bit regret of cuttin it short ... is not tat kind of short , but still short to me ... is jus belong shoulder , think iris one even longer than mine ... i wonder will he scream when he see it ... haha ... still haven meet him since tat day out with jun n him ... haiz ... nvm , after 2 months , i will go do my hair again , tis time mayb go do relaxer ... hee ... dun reali like to take pix now , cos of tis hair ... esp neo print , think i will look ugly in it ... haiz ! kai xin scream when she saw my hair ... i think tis hair very hard to maintain nice , cos it keeps on curling at the end n curl until very messy ... haiz , say wan new look , now regret ... miss my long hair ...
tis week very suai , been so called sexually haressed twice ... one is middle age man , another a student ... now a bit scared of takin bus anymor ... i standin oso like tat, sit down oso like tat ... shiver ... to all those sicko out there , if got another time , i will jus kill u all , i dun care le ... i wun jus look at u all onli , i will make sure u feel some pain ...
haha , tis is to jun , wanted to write tis long ago , but cant find anytime to write ... so now i a bit mor free , so write lor ... jun ah , frm tat day u tell me u break with him , i realise tat guys can b so jerk until tis kind os standard ... n i still feel gulity ... even though u say it's nothin to do with me ... i am the one pushin u to b brave , to pick up tis relationship , but i never know it will turn out tis way ... he is reali sweet when wooing u , but how can he like tat when he got u ... mayb most guys r like tat ... u say now going for long vacation , haiz , still think is my fault ... mayb next time , i wan to see him with my real eyes first den i can give better comments ... hope u alreadi forget him , n dun worry , i still plannin to help u 'bully' him back ... hee ...
k la , go eat my dinner le , jus bought a pair of levis jeans ... first time buy , but dunno y , dun reali feel happy , feel mor liek i am wastin my dad money ... now , i prefer to buy clothes , shoes or accessories using my own money , so i wun feel so bad ... wan to buy hp now ... dunno i shuld take the nokia or samsung one ... any comments ...
6:55 PM
Saturday, March 05, 2005Y
long time no see ...
woah , finally i update tis blog ... haha ... so long never update le , everytime wan to write but too lazy ... feein kinda down these few days ... had been cryin for the past 2 nights , haiz ... so many things happen ...
my family : i dunno wat the hell i do wrong , or wat the hell i did , everyone in the family except my dad always give me cold stare or jus dun wan to tok to me ... esp my small cousin ... i dunno wat the hell is wrong with her ... like wed nite , i ask her things abt amazing race , she din even ans me ... den yday , the first thing i got hm is to scold me for unpluggin the wire out frm the printer ... is it so serious , jus plug it back will do rite , u dun have to scold me rite ... do u believe one day when i had enough , i will ask u to get out of my hse ... u think i scared of u is it ... well , i can tell u tat i got the power to chase u out cos basically , tis is my hse , not urs . n ya , as usual , my mum , she always give me stare when i got back hm ... dunno y oso la ... haiz , yday when i cry in the room , my dad jus so nice come in ... but tat time i reali feel damn sad n angry , so i jus cant control my tears , n my dad had to see me cry ... keep on askin me wat happen , den finally i told him ... ya , i tell him i hate to go hm ... i think tis hm is not a place for me to live in ... i will go crazy one day ... ya , n when i feelin so sad alreadi , my mum still give me a 1 hr plus lecture in the kitchen ... but tat time , i alreadi feel so numb to cry ... ha ... forget it ...
him : past few weeks was ok , perfect oso ... 5 months alreadi ... but last few days was bad ... ya , wed , he go out with me n jun to eat dinner cos he noe jun break up with her stupid bf ... so he wan to tok to her too ma ... so we go eat together lor , anw he got drive ... den tat nite i got hm , all the stupid family thing happen la , so i msg him to tell him as i reali feelin damn down ... i msg him 9 msg ... haha ... scary rite ... ok , den on thurs , when i abt to leave sch , he call , say he abt to leave work too ... den i ask wan meet ma he say ok , cos he is meetin hui xian at causeway too ... so i say em ok , u finishin meetin her den meet me ... cos i noe frm my sch to woodlands still quite long ma , den he say he meet her for like an hr , tat time is near 7 ... den cos i still chat with my friends , so in the end , i leave sch at 7.30 ... den i think if i board bus n 969 , i will reach at 9 lor ... den he might have to wait , so in the end , i go take taxi with kai xin they all to tampines , den take 168 cos it's faster ... ha , den when i msg him tell him i will reach like 8.30 , he tell me a bit too early , cos jus now the train got prob den he still haven meet her ... so i was like thinkin nvm , i cna go causeway shop alone myself a while ... so i go look for materials all these ... den jus keep on findin place to go ... den it's alreadi like 9 , so i jus buy some snacks to eat , cos i haven eat dinner yet , so i msg him , tell him i go hm first la , tell him to take his time ... tat time , i was feelin onli a little sad ... deni jus slowly walk hm , den he call , say he abt to leave , ask me where am i , i say near the park there , den guess wat , he actually tell me to go hm first ... haha , u noe wat , if he ask me to wait , i will still wait for him de lor ... but he jus tell me to go hm ... fell damn hurt ... i alreadi feelin so down , oso i dun wan to go hm so early to face all the ppl in my hse , u jus tell me to go off first ... when i need u so much , u r actually havin dinner with some other girls while me have to pathetically eat a very not nice thing ... haha , in the end i jus cry when walkin hm ... the prob is he noe i am not feelin gd , n yet never make a effort to meet me ... hao lo ... i dun wan to cry anymor ... tat nite , i cry for 3 hrs , den go back to sch , everybody say my eyes sore ... den today , u dun wan to meet me again ... ha , u always never be with me when i need u the most ... den somemor still tell me u work 5 days after today , den means wat ... i cant meet u for tat anotehr 5 days le la ... den after tat 5 days is fri , u think i can meet u on fri ma ... haha ... so tis week , i jus wun get to see him ... fine ... i dun wan to care le ... somemor is ur fault , den in the end is still the one sayin sorry cos u think i treat u coldly ... haha ... u noe when yday u write tat msg u not meetin me today , i keep on tryin to hold back my tears , cos i am in the middle of tat thing n is so many ppl ard me ... is not like i am in my room or wat ... wa ... nvm ... dun wan to say anythin mor abt u , cos now i feel like cryin again ...
jun , i got some things to write to u , but i got to do my work now ... mayb i will write later or next time ...
12:13 PM
