Saturday, March 05, 2005Y
long time no see ...
woah , finally i update tis blog ... haha ... so long never update le , everytime wan to write but too lazy ... feein kinda down these few days ... had been cryin for the past 2 nights , haiz ... so many things happen ...
my family : i dunno wat the hell i do wrong , or wat the hell i did , everyone in the family except my dad always give me cold stare or jus dun wan to tok to me ... esp my small cousin ... i dunno wat the hell is wrong with her ... like wed nite , i ask her things abt amazing race , she din even ans me ... den yday , the first thing i got hm is to scold me for unpluggin the wire out frm the printer ... is it so serious , jus plug it back will do rite , u dun have to scold me rite ... do u believe one day when i had enough , i will ask u to get out of my hse ... u think i scared of u is it ... well , i can tell u tat i got the power to chase u out cos basically , tis is my hse , not urs . n ya , as usual , my mum , she always give me stare when i got back hm ... dunno y oso la ... haiz , yday when i cry in the room , my dad jus so nice come in ... but tat time i reali feel damn sad n angry , so i jus cant control my tears , n my dad had to see me cry ... keep on askin me wat happen , den finally i told him ... ya , i tell him i hate to go hm ... i think tis hm is not a place for me to live in ... i will go crazy one day ... ya , n when i feelin so sad alreadi , my mum still give me a 1 hr plus lecture in the kitchen ... but tat time , i alreadi feel so numb to cry ... ha ... forget it ...
him : past few weeks was ok , perfect oso ... 5 months alreadi ... but last few days was bad ... ya , wed , he go out with me n jun to eat dinner cos he noe jun break up with her stupid bf ... so he wan to tok to her too ma ... so we go eat together lor , anw he got drive ... den tat nite i got hm , all the stupid family thing happen la , so i msg him to tell him as i reali feelin damn down ... i msg him 9 msg ... haha ... scary rite ... ok , den on thurs , when i abt to leave sch , he call , say he abt to leave work too ... den i ask wan meet ma he say ok , cos he is meetin hui xian at causeway too ... so i say em ok , u finishin meetin her den meet me ... cos i noe frm my sch to woodlands still quite long ma , den he say he meet her for like an hr , tat time is near 7 ... den cos i still chat with my friends , so in the end , i leave sch at 7.30 ... den i think if i board bus n 969 , i will reach at 9 lor ... den he might have to wait , so in the end , i go take taxi with kai xin they all to tampines , den take 168 cos it's faster ... ha , den when i msg him tell him i will reach like 8.30 , he tell me a bit too early , cos jus now the train got prob den he still haven meet her ... so i was like thinkin nvm , i cna go causeway shop alone myself a while ... so i go look for materials all these ... den jus keep on findin place to go ... den it's alreadi like 9 , so i jus buy some snacks to eat , cos i haven eat dinner yet , so i msg him , tell him i go hm first la , tell him to take his time ... tat time , i was feelin onli a little sad ... deni jus slowly walk hm , den he call , say he abt to leave , ask me where am i , i say near the park there , den guess wat , he actually tell me to go hm first ... haha , u noe wat , if he ask me to wait , i will still wait for him de lor ... but he jus tell me to go hm ... fell damn hurt ... i alreadi feelin so down , oso i dun wan to go hm so early to face all the ppl in my hse , u jus tell me to go off first ... when i need u so much , u r actually havin dinner with some other girls while me have to pathetically eat a very not nice thing ... haha , in the end i jus cry when walkin hm ... the prob is he noe i am not feelin gd , n yet never make a effort to meet me ... hao lo ... i dun wan to cry anymor ... tat nite , i cry for 3 hrs , den go back to sch , everybody say my eyes sore ... den today , u dun wan to meet me again ... ha , u always never be with me when i need u the most ... den somemor still tell me u work 5 days after today , den means wat ... i cant meet u for tat anotehr 5 days le la ... den after tat 5 days is fri , u think i can meet u on fri ma ... haha ... so tis week , i jus wun get to see him ... fine ... i dun wan to care le ... somemor is ur fault , den in the end is still the one sayin sorry cos u think i treat u coldly ... haha ... u noe when yday u write tat msg u not meetin me today , i keep on tryin to hold back my tears , cos i am in the middle of tat thing n is so many ppl ard me ... is not like i am in my room or wat ... wa ... nvm ... dun wan to say anythin mor abt u , cos now i feel like cryin again ...
jun , i got some things to write to u , but i got to do my work now ... mayb i will write later or next time ...
12:13 PM
